Monday, 27 October 2014


I have recently stopped taking a bath with my 5 year old son because he's at that "pointing and laughing" stage, which some people believe it's when you should stop being naked around them. But also because people would raise their eyebrows whenever I'd mention that I bath with him. I never though it to be wrong or that it would 'scar him for life', as people say. 

I then came across a documentary on the LifeTime channel of a family of nudists who believe nudity is freedom and it teaches young girls to be comfortable in their bodies no matter how they look, it breeds a society of girls who are not ashamed of their bodies and sexuality. I'm not a nudist and I think a family walking around the house naked is inappropriate and taking it to the extreme. But I do agree with them to some point, that it does teach girls to be comfortable in their skin, when you're comfortable in your skin you become a confident woman and I think the greatest lesson you can ever give to your daughter is confidence.
For boys I think its also good, because you would rather your son see you as his first naked woman, as opposed to some air-brushed supermodel in a Playboy magazine a friend of his brought to school. He will grow up understanding that women's bodies are not perfect, which will make him respectful towards women in general. 

Milka. K from Circle of Moms says exposure to adult nudity at a young age might cause kids to become sexually curious before they're ready. It may trigger them to explore and that may be the beginning of early sexuality. 
I disagree with Milka because I think kids engage in sexual activity at a young age because they are curious, and those who are exposed to parental nudity become less curious, making it less likely for them to engage in sexual activity before the right maturity level. I do also think though that when they start asking questions about private parts they may be ready to stop seeing mommy naked!

Saturday, 4 October 2014


I have always been against fighting or arguing in front of the kids, I have read many times about how it damages children emotionally and changes their behaviour and how they relate to people as they get older. I also used to be petrified when my parents would get into it when I was a child, no kid wants to see the two people they love in the whole world fight. So I have always told myself I would never put my children in that situation.
But that's unrealistic, arguments are natural and unavoidable in relationships, more so when you live together. So what I would do is give my husband the "silent treatment", and when we get a chance alone I'd bring up the issue. But sometimes, as I mentioned, arguments are unavoidable and we would act out of impulse and get into it, my son would either block his ears or try to distract us by asking for water or something. That broke my heart! We'll then feel bad and my husband would just end it by going to get him his water.

But that's life, and if like me you wished it was scripted and our homes were all roses and unicorns, here's some good news, apparently it can be good to argue in front of your children. Psychologists say shielding  your children from your arguments is actually making them think that it is bad to argue, they then become walk-overs and doormats because you are bringing them up to accept things even when they don't necessarily agree with them, just to avoid an argument. Also, if an argument erupts and you "send them to their room", you are showing them how an argument starts but not how it gets resolved. So they struggle with conflict resolution in their adult years. You are also teaching them that the world is perfect, and when they are older and actually realise that the world is not perfect they have a hard time coping. Makes sense right?

However, you're not going to scream off the roof top or call each other names in front of your children, because you also want to teach them arguing can be effective and productive communication. And some arguments are for closed doors, a cheating spouse is obviously not going to be confronted in front of the kids!
But our children need to know that people who love each other argue and it doesn't mean they have stopped loving each other, it is just natural.

Thursday, 2 October 2014


Maintenance sex is not passionate sex, its that sex you have to keep the machine greased up, that just for control sex. Normally happens when you're tired, have a "headache" or simply just not in the mood. We have all been in that situation when your man needs some action and all you need is some sleep. Some people say maintenance sex is about taking care of your man's needs, because honestly, after a day multi-tasking a gazillion things women can go without sex.

But here's what I think about it, it is not just about taking care of his needs, you're indirectly taking care of yours too. See sex is his need and not yours at the time, but tomorrow you're gonna need him to take care of a hundred of yours. And you also don't want to deal with a grumpy partner.
I always say men don't have a lot of needs and sex is like the top of that short list (well they say 60% of the time it's for the passion and the other 40% is just for the sperm outlet), but the point is they need sex. Now, we women on the other hand, have a loooong list of needs, because we are emotional beings, so just take care of that one need of his and he takes care of your many.
Melissa Gorga, the author of "Love, Italian style", says when she and her husband get into a fight and they had had sex the night before he gives in easily and isn't as angry, but the fights they get into when he hasn't hit it for a while are heated. I'm sure we can all relate. My only concern is that maintenance sex can start to feel like routine and take the passion away. When you don't do it for like 4 or 5 days, the day the cookie jar opens sparks fly, if you know what I mean. But when its every second day I'm assuming it will start feeling like literally eating food. I mean, you still want those hot steamy nights. Is it good or bad? You judge for yourself...