GRANDMA'S PUMPKIN FRITTERS

GRANDMA'S PUMPKIN FRITTERS

Mommies, we all know it's really hard to convince the little ones to eat veggies right? I tried adding sugar, cinnamon and maple syrup in pumpkin but 'yuck' was written all over my son's face. So I recently tried fritters, and not only was 'yummy' written on his face this time around, he actually did say 'YUMMY'. So try this easy recipe to get your little ones to enjoy pumpkin!

You will need:

1 Cooked and mashed pumpkin (with sugar and cinnamon)
An egg
Teaspoon of baking powder
Salt to taste

Mix all the ingredients together and spoon into hot oil and deep fry until golden brown.

IS PARENTAL NUDITY OK? WHEN SHOULD YOU STOP BEING NAKED AROUND YOUR LITTLE ONE?

I have recently stopped taking a bath with my 5 year old son because he's at that "pointing and laughing" stage, which some people believe it's when you should stop being naked around them. But also because people would raise their eyebrows whenever I'd mention that I bath with him. I never though it to be wrong or that it would 'scar him for life', as people say. 

I then came across a documentary on the LifeTime channel of a family of nudists who believe nudity is freedom and it teaches young girls to be comfortable in their bodies no matter how they look, it breeds a society of girls who are not ashamed of their bodies and sexuality. I'm not a nudist and I think a family walking around the house naked is inappropriate and taking it to the extreme. But I do agree with them to some point, that it does teach girls to be comfortable in their skin, when you're comfortable in your skin you become a confident woman and I think the greatest lesson you can ever give to your daughter is confidence.

 

For boys I think its also good, because you would rather your son see you as his first naked woman, as opposed to some air-brushed supermodel in a Playboy magazine a friend of his brought to school. He will grow up understanding that women's bodies are not perfect, which will make him respectful towards women in general. 

Milka. K from Circle of Moms says exposure to adult nudity at a young age might cause kids to become sexually curious before they're ready. It may trigger them to explore and that may be the beginning of early sexuality. 

I disagree with Milka because I think kids engage in sexual activity at a young age because they are curious, and those who are exposed to parental nudity become less curious, making it less likely for them to engage in sexual activity before the right maturity level. I do also think though that when they start asking questions about private parts they may be ready to stop seeing mommy naked!

ARGUING IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS COULD BE A GOOD THING

I have always been against fighting or arguing in front of the kids, I have read many times about how it damages children emotionally and changes their behaviour and how they relate to people as they get older. I also used to be petrified when my parents would get into it when I was a child, no kid wants to see the two people they love in the whole world fight. So I have always told myself I would never put my children in that situation.
But that's unrealistic, arguments are natural and unavoidable in relationships, more so when you live together. So what I would do is give my husband the "silent treatment", and when we get a chance alone I'd bring up the issue. But sometimes, as I mentioned, arguments are unavoidable and we would act out of impulse and get into it, my son would either block his ears or try to distract us by asking for water or something. That broke my heart! We'll then feel bad and my husband would just end it by going to get him his water.

But that's life, and if like me you wished it was scripted and our homes were all roses and unicorns, here's some good news, apparently it can be good to argue in front of your children. Psychologists say shielding  your children from your arguments is actually making them think that it is bad to argue, they then become walk-overs and doormats because you are bringing them up to accept things even when they don't necessarily agree with them, just to avoid an argument. Also, if an argument erupts and you "send them to their room", you are showing them how an argument starts but not how it gets resolved. So they struggle with conflict resolution in their adult years. You are also teaching them that the world is perfect, and when they are older and actually realise that the world is not perfect they have a hard time coping. Makes sense right?

However, you're not going to scream off the roof top or call each other names in front of your children, because you also want to teach them arguing can be effective and productive communication. And some arguments are for closed doors, a cheating spouse is obviously not going to be confronted in front of the kids!
But our children need to know that people who love each other argue and it doesn't mean they have stopped loving each other, it is just natural.

MAINTENANCE SEX, GOOD OR BAD?

Maintenance sex is not passionate sex, its that sex you have to keep the machine greased up, that just for control sex. Normally happens when you're tired, have a "headache" or simply just not in the mood. We have all been in that situation when your man needs some action and all you need is some sleep. Some people say maintenance sex is about taking care of your man's needs, because honestly, after a day multi-tasking a gazillion things women can go without sex.

But here's what I think about it, it is not just about taking care of his needs, you're indirectly taking care of yours too. See sex is his need and not yours at the time, but tomorrow you're gonna need him to take care of a hundred of yours. And you also don't want to deal with a grumpy partner.
I always say men don't have a lot of needs and sex is like the top of that short list (well they say 60% of the time it's for the passion and the other 40% is just for the sperm outlet), but the point is they need sex. Now, we women on the other hand, have a loooong list of needs, because we are emotional beings, so just take care of that one need of his and he takes care of your many.
Melissa Gorga, the author of "Love, Italian style", says when she and her husband get into a fight and they had had sex the night before he gives in easily and isn't as angry, but the fights they get into when he hasn't hit it for a while are heated. I'm sure we can all relate. My only concern is that maintenance sex can start to feel like routine and take the passion away. When you don't do it for like 4 or 5 days, the day the cookie jar opens sparks fly, if you know what I mean. But when its every second day I'm assuming it will start feeling like literally eating food. I mean, you still want those hot steamy nights. Is it good or bad? You judge for yourself...

HOW TO KILL THAT STUBBORN BABY BULGE!

You may have recently just given birth and after the excitement of your newborn has fizzled out you realise a bulge on your once flat tummy, or you had a child long ago and have lost the baby weight but the stubborn baby bulge just won't go. Research says that a baby bulge is caused by a Diastasis, a separation of the Rectus abdominis (the outermost abdominal muscle that occurs during pregnancy). Some women find it easy to get rid of it and some don't. If you're one of the latter, try these below to get your sexy back!

1. Wear a belly band or a stretchy piece of fabric that wraps your abdomen immediately after a natural birth, the more time you delay wearing it the more difficult it will get to get rid of your bulge. For C-section mommies immediately when you heal or your doctor gives you the green light waste no time. This not only flattens your tummy but supports your back too, which is also important since it spent months carrying a lot of extra weight. The tighter the better!

2. Drink water. Water helps to rev up your metabolism and flush toxins which may be harmful to your body and hinder weight loss. Dehydration has been proven to slow down metabolism, so for the exercising mommies be sure to always be hydrated during exercise. Water also makes you feel full, so if you find yourself 'hungry' at odd times of the day grab a glass of water instead of food. If your feelings of hunger go away you've just saved yourself calories by not eating food your body didn't really need, if you are still hungry that glass of water will prohibit you from overeating. So its a win-win!

3. Increase your intake of protein at each meal, even breakfast. Protein improves your body's ability to burn fat, especially around the stomach. High protein foods include eggs, beans, lean meats like chicken and fish, etc.

4. Drink hot lemon water every morning. Lemon has many amazing benefits. I say it has magic properties. It contains Vitamin C and Potassium. The Vitamin C not only boosts your immune system but it also helps your body set off a series of chemical reactions that break down body fat for use as energy. The Potassium helps purify blood and good blood flow helps with the flushing out of toxins which may hinder weight loss. Lemons also contain fibre which helps with digestion and fight hunger cravings.

5. Have snacks in between meals. For best results take high fibre snacks or fruits, for example prunes and apples. Fibre makes you feel full as well, so you're less likely to over eat.

6.Sleep well. Research has found that if you are sleep-deprived, meaning that you are not getting enough minutes of good quality sleep, your body does not function properly, including your metabolism. It is very important that your metabolism functions well because it is a fat burning process. Sleep deprivation is inevitable when you're a new mom, but babies spend more hours asleep than awake, so take advantage of this by catching up on lost sleep when baby naps during the day. Sleep also fights off fatigue and reduces cortisol levels in your body, this stress hormone causes your body to retain more abdominal fat. Meditating also helps bring this stress hormone down, so find your favourite Yoga position and mediate for about 10-15 minutes to de-stress.

7.Jog or take a walk. If you're not a gym fanatic don't worry, jogging and walking is effective too. You can actually feel your baby bulge bounce up and down when you walk or jog. New mommies can take walks pushing a stroller, it actually requires strength to push that thing, so yes it burns some fat!

8. Side plank. This exercise targets your abdominal muscles and spine. It also works your "love handles".
Lie on your left side with your legs together and your torso resting on your left forearm, leg and hip on the ground and everything else supported by your arm. While exhaling tighten your abs and lift your entire body off the ground until just your arm and feet are on the ground and the rest of your body forms a straight line. Pause, then inhale and slowly lower yourself back down to starting position.

9. Sit ups. Everyone knows the good old sit ups. The trick here is to not go all the way up as it tires you up quicker. The aim is to work the stomach, so go half way up and start with at least 30 a day ( 3 sets of 10 reps). Double after each week.

10. And finally sex. We all know sex is a fat burning exercise because it sweats you out. So for new mommies once your Doc gives you the green light don't be shy!

THE CARE OF YOUR BREASTS AFTER BABY

THE CARE OF "MOM BOOBS"

It breaks my heart every time I see a mother wearing a bra that is ill-fitting. Mainly because of the long term effect it will have on her back, but also because I too struggled to find a good bra after I had my son. My breasts had changed and my cleavage was 'different', I now had what is called "Mom boobs". There is absolutely nothing wrong with "Mom boobs", it is part of the beautiful journey of motherhood. Even if you don't bear a child, at some point your breasts will change because of nature taking its course and also due to gravity. After the birth of a child, the size and shape of a woman's breasts change. Also, after breastfeeding they lose some of their lift, this is due to the stretching of the breast ligaments when baby latches on and pulls the nipple. So smile mommy, its completely normal and part of nature. However, it is paramount to give those fabulous lady humps a good lift and support because it hurts your back in the long run.

Besides the fact that an ill-fitting bra makes you look bigger than you actually are and hinders you from doing a lot of your daily activities, it has more implications health-wise. A non-supportive bra causes poor posture and weakens back muscles, which leads to upper back and shoulder pains. When breasts are not supported, the weight tends to draw the shoulders forward, making your back haunch and causing the upper and mid back to strain.
Statistics say 80% of women wear the wrong bra size and/or fit. Below are just some of the tests to see if you fall within this 80%:

• when you bend over and one of your breasts pops out of your bra or having to hold them when bending over because you know this will happen
• research says you shouldn't be able to slide more than one finger under the band of a good bra
• when you slouch when sitting or standing, your breasts aren't well supported and their weight is pulling you downward
• when you can't do certain activities because they bounce all over the place
• when you look bigger than you actually are
• when you constantly have to 'tuck'and 'fix'

Caring for your "Mom boobs" starts as early as as pregnancy. Get a bigger bra to accommodate your now swelled up breasts.
During breastfeeding, a bra that fits is vital and also sleep with a nursing bra on at night as opposed to being bra-less.
Bra cups must not drown in the bottom or spill out the top.
As mentioned, you shouldn't be able to slide more than one finger under the band. It has to be tight (but comfortable). Forget back fat.
Wear a sports bra when you exercise. Exercising causes your breasts to bounce (which causes ligaments to stretch), if you do it often without a good sports bra they will sag further and hurt your back. For the small busted mommies find a sports bra that presses against your chest and for the big busted mommies find one that is wired.
Bad posture exacerbate saggy breasts. So stand up straight and don't sit hunched over. Your chair at the office and in your car should be adjusted at 90 degrees. It looks "uncool" but your back will thank you one day in your 50's or 60's when all your friends are complaining about back ache;)

WHAT'S FOR DESSERT?

What's for dessert?
Bread and butter pudding

Hey Mommies
This is an old British dessert that I saw on BBC and gave it a try, not only is it delicious but it is simple and doesn't require a lot of ingredients. I mean what more could you ask for? I thought I should share it with you guys and I bet your little ones will be asking for seconds!





Ingredients
white bread (4 slices)
butter
125 ml milk
1 egg
5 Tbsp sugar
Sultanas (optional)- don't worry if you don't find sultanas, you can still do without them. Just don't replace them with raisins because raisins burn and give the pudding an 'ashy' taste.
Ice-cream to serve

Method
Pre-heat oven to 180°C
Cut out the crusty sides of each slice and butter on only one side each
Cut each slice into 4 squares or triangles
Butter an oven-proof dish and place the bread pieces making two layers, butter side up.
If you are using sultanas sprinkle them between the two layers and on top
In a bowl mix well the egg, milk and sugar and pour evenly over the bread pieces
Sprinkle some sugar on top and set aside for 15 minutes
Place in oven and bake for 45 minutes to an hour or until light brown
Let it cool for 15-20 minutes
Serve with ice-cream and enjoy!

WHY YELLING AT YOUR CHILD MIGHT NOT BE GOOD

"Say please!" "You don't listen!" "I said wear your jersey!" Sound familiar? I'm pretty sure most of us are guilty of yelling at our kids, I know I am. I've recently made an interesting observation; how kids respond to a lower and calm reprimanding voice as opposed to shouting. If you find yourself always yelling about the same thing it might be that your child blocks you out when you start shouting. I decided to research and give the opposite approach a try.

After having yelled at my son almost daily for a year about bringing the sand from the school sandpit in the house through his shoes, I approached him with kind language. It yielded different results, he finally got it. We keep saying "I told you this a hundred times" or "how many times did I tell you this" but we don't really 'tell' them, we shout, and immediately when you do that research suggests the child doesn't hear what is being said to them.

It is also deeper than we think. A study published in the Journal of marriage and family found that yelling at your child can cause aggression and low self-esteem. We are also teaching them bad communication habits. There is an American saying "shouting at your child to obey is like using the horn to steer your car, both yield same results." There are many reasons why we yell at our children, may be the way we were raised- if that's how your mother communicated with you that's likely how you will communicate with your children, or high expectations- you may be expecting too much from them, also stress- children bear the stress of their parents, we release on them without being aware.

So mommies, before saying your child doesn't listen, you might want to check the tone and volume of your voice, he probably doesn't hear what is being said to him.

Hey ladies!

Welcome to iamamodernmom. As women we go through the same things, be it motherhood, relationships, pregnancy, health issues, etc, and sometimes we find that the people in our lives don't relate. This is a blog where we discuss it all and share advices and tips. Beyoncé once said "there's nothing like a conversation with a woman who just gets you." And I couldn't agree more. Don't you just find girl talks therapeutic?

Women play a lot of roles and it can get overwhelming. God entrusted us with so much and I believe it is because we are such strong beings, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. We do it all because we really can, not only that but we look good doing it too. We run this....!!